Biting at Daycare: Why Toddlers Bite and What Happens Next

Key points

• Biting is a normal developmental stage for many toddlers, not a sign of a bad child or bad parenting.
• Common triggers are frustration, tiredness, teething, crowding, excitement and not having the words to say “stop” or “mine”.
• The most effective response is calm and firm, followed by redirection. Big reactions and biting back make it worse.
• Your service must tell you about any incident involving your child and keep a record of it.
• Biting is managed with support and supervision, not by excluding the child.

Why do toddlers bite?

If your toddler has started biting, or has come home with a bite mark, you are not alone. It is one of the questions our toddler room educators are asked most. Between about 12 months and three years, children are learning to manage strong feelings at the same time as their language is only just emerging. When the feeling arrives faster than the words, a bite can be the quickest way to say “stop”, “that is mine” or “I am overwhelmed”.

Common reasons toddlers bite include:

• Frustration: another child takes a toy, or they cannot do something they want to do.
• Communication: they do not yet have the words to ask for space or a turn.
• Teething: sore gums make biting feel good.
• Exploration: young toddlers still explore the world with their mouths.
• Tiredness, hunger or overstimulation: biting often happens late in the morning or before a sleep.
• Feeling small: the youngest child in a group may bite to feel some control.
• Change or stress: a new sibling, a move or starting care can bring on a phase of biting.

What happens if a child is bitten at childcare?

Bites at childcare are upsetting for every family involved, so it helps to know what to expect. When a bite happens at MJEEC:

• An educator steps in straight away, comforts the child who was bitten and provides first aid. Most toddler bites do not break the skin.
• The child who bit is calmly moved away and told simply, “No biting. Biting hurts.” There is no shaming and no long lecture.
• Both families are told what happened. Under the Education and Care Services National Regulations, services must notify parents of an incident or injury involving their child as soon as practicable and within 24 hours, and keep a written record.
• We do not name the other child. Every family deserves the same privacy.
• If biting is happening more than once, the room team looks for a pattern and puts a plan in place.

How do educators reduce biting in the toddler room?

Biting is rarely random. Our educators watch for the moments when it is most likely and change the environment, not just the child. That includes:

• Shadowing a child who is biting during their higher-risk times of day.
• Keeping play groups small and offering duplicates of popular toys so there is less competition.
• Teaching simple words and signs such as “stop”, “my turn” and “help”.
• Offering safe things to chew, like teething toys, when a child is seeking oral input.
• Keeping routines predictable so children are not overtired or hungry.
• Reading stories and using puppets to talk about gentle hands and gentle mouths.
• Noticing and praising gentle behaviour, so children get attention for the right things.

Our toddler room is set up for exactly this stage of development, with educators who know each child well and can spot the early signs of frustration before a bite happens.

What can parents do at home?

• Stay calm and be consistent. Use the same short words every time: “No biting. Biting hurts.”
• Move your child away briefly and keep them close to you before they return to play.
• Give them the words. Name the feeling for them: “You were cross because he took the truck.”
• Never bite back. It teaches the behaviour you want to stop and can frighten your child.
• Look for the trigger. Note when it happens: before lunch, at the end of the day, during rough play.
• Keep talking to your educators. When home and childcare respond the same way, the phase passes faster.

If your child was the one who was bitten

It is natural to feel upset or protective. Comfort your child calmly, check the area and follow your educators’ first aid advice. If the skin is broken, wash the bite with soap and water and see your GP if you notice redness, swelling or heat. Then talk to your child’s room leader about what happened and what the plan is. Biting phases are usually short, and the child who bit is almost always simply a toddler learning to manage big feelings.

If your toddler is also finding drop-off hard, our article on separation anxiety at drop-off may help.

Frequently asked questions

Is biting normal for toddlers?

Yes. Biting is common between about one and three years of age, when children have strong feelings but not yet the words to express them. It is a developmental stage, not a sign of a bad child or poor parenting, and it usually passes as language and self-regulation grow.

Will my child be asked to leave childcare for biting?

Not at MJEEC. Biting is a normal part of toddler development, and the long-term answer is support, not exclusion. We work with you on a plan to understand the triggers and teach other ways to communicate, while keeping every child in the room safe.

Will you tell me who bit my child?

No. We protect the privacy of every child, so we do not name the other child involved. You will always be told what happened, how your child was cared for and what we are doing to prevent it happening again.

Should I bite my child back so they know how it feels?

No. Biting back frightens children and models the very behaviour you are trying to stop. A calm, firm response such as ‘No biting. Biting hurts.’ followed by moving your child away is far more effective.

When should I be worried about biting?

Talk to your child’s educators or your GP if biting continues past about age three, is happening many times a day, or comes alongside other concerns such as delayed speech. Persistent biting can sometimes be a sign that a child needs extra support with communication.

Sources and further reading

• Children biting: Parent Easy Guide | Parenting SA
• Managing and responding to injury, trauma and illness incidents | ACECQA

About the author: Lauren Ziegler is the Director and Nominated Supervisor of Maroubra Junction Early Education Centre, a privately owned long day care and preschool in Maroubra since 2010. She holds a Bachelor of Education (Early Childhood) and has more than 30 years’ experience in early childhood education.

Would you like to see our toddler room? Book a tour with Lauren and meet the educators who will care for your child.